Do you ever sit and ponder about your purpose in life and why you still don’t have a passion? Why is it that Sallie from next door was able to know without a doubt that she was born to teach second grade at Grovetown Elementary? Or why Suzy from yoga class can realize her utmost internal desire to sell houses along the coast of California? It seems as if some people have it all figured out while others like myself continue treading down a never-ending quest for belonging. I have always struggled with being indecisive; perhaps I am over-analytical or maybe too cautious? Whatever the case may be, 10 months ago I discovered that a piece of me was missing the whole time.
It was July 9, 2014, to be exact, when the most precious, most beautiful bundle of joy arrived in this world. I truly never knew that I could love something (much less, someone) so much until my son, Christopher Murad Becham, was born. Amidst this newly-found joy of life, I began to realize my true meaning as the missing puzzle piece was him all along. Now, don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed numerous moments throughout my life, but I had never LIVED up until now. Immediately upon entering this world, my baby boy became the catalyst for all decision-making. At that very moment, every choice I sought in my life was and continues to be centered around the well-being of my son, Christopher.
Why had I always been so frugal? Why did so many people always call me a “health freak?” Why did I thoroughly enjoy babysitting and even working as a full-time nanny at one point? All of these “signs” became so clear when I realized that I was just gearing up to be a mommy. For lack of better words, becoming a mommy was not just a coincidence… it is essentially what I was put on Earth to do!
I am Captain of this ship, but Christopher is my navigator. Sure, I went to college and earned my Bachelor’s in International Business and Management… I got married to the most wonderful husband a woman could ever ask for… I was hired as a manager trainee at a rental car sales lot… I loved cooking, dancing, reading, and most of all, crafting (I’m obsessed with DIY)… but deep down inside I was still lost. I had no idea what I wanted to be “when I grew up.” I hadn’t a single idea about where I wanted to live and raise my family. And I had never even fathomed waking up in the morning to care for anything more than my furry, little 9-lb Shih-Tzu. But in July of 2014, I awakened.
My husband was getting out of the military to seek a different career opportunity, but knowing that the baby was on his way, we began to triple our monthly savings. He finished up his last year as a Finance major amidst serving his final year in the Air Force while my pregnant self worked 14-15 hrs per day in freezing cold (Alaska) temperatures. Not to mention my husband was working an opposite schedule, so we literally saw each other for 10 minutes at a time as I was waking up to go to work, he would tell me good night as he would lie down to sleep after a 12-hr night of working on the flight line; he would be at work again by the time I got home. This became a natural routine, and this went on for 9 straight months (not exaggerating!). But we were determined to build a large enough savings to care for our baby boy once he arrived. Needless to say, by the time my husband separated from the military, we had enough in savings to continue our current lifestyle for 3 full years without a single dollar of income. I had always been able to save money, but Christopher gave us a REASON to save!
Fast forward to October 2014 as the baby had just reached 3 months, my husband graduated with his Bachelor’s degree. But the most peculiar aspect of this event was that the ceremony was held approximately 3,700 miles away in San Diego, CA. Luckily, his aunt had lived in San Diego for 10 years and let us stay with her for about a week and a half. This became a pivotal moment in our lives where we once again let Christopher drive our actions by completely shifting our plans in light of his well-being. We were originally going to move back to my husband’s hometown, Atlanta, once he left the military but suddenly grew a strange attraction to San Diego. It was the culture! I had never seen such a thriving, diverse, clean, beautiful, and safe city to live in of all my life. We thoroughly researched the area and weighed the pros/cons before we made our decision… but truth is: there really were no cons outside of being away from family (which we were used to already anyway). We concluded that this would be the absolute perfect place to raise our boy. I had always wanted to see the world and find a city that is just right for our liking, but Christopher gave us a reason to search!
From the neighborhood in which we chose to reside, to the condo that we chose to rent, from the job offer that my husband accepted, to the graduate school of which I chose to enroll, from the food that we cook, to the car that we drive… it was ALL chosen as a result of how it would impact our child’s life! So as you see… it is Christopher that is my sole source of living. Everything that came before he arrived merely seems like a “blur.” I no longer struggle with making decisions in life, because I now have a purpose behind them. I now have the obligation to conduct a realistic analysis of the potential results. I now have the piece to my puzzle that I had been missing for 25 years. I found my passion! And that passion is to LIVE for him! Hence, why his day of birth became the first day of the rest of my life.